Sisters before misters

Lady, since it seems to have slipped your mind
Let’s retrace our steps
Let’s hit rewind

‘Cause last time I checked you were dazzling
Even through UV-safe lenses your glow is still staggering
Don’t think it’s the wine or my words or the night
Pretty certain it’s you who’s emitting starlight. 

Because, woman, you are fire.
You are snap, crackle and pop.
You ease into kindness like a key in a lock.
You with such shyness make this city’s jaw drop.
And I pick it up off the floor:
“You’d better believe it. She’s all of that shit and she’s more.”

Sister, you are calls at 3am on the night bus
You are text me when you get home
You are all punch then glimmer
You are lime after a shot of tequila
You are spice and you’re moonlight.

All your world’s a stage and you are headlining
Tattooed and trailblazing,
You are fight.

My Writing Trademarks

Internet users; ASSEMBLE!

That got your attention. Nothing like a bold faced exclamative in the mornin’. Yes, I’m aware that it’s been a whole week since I last posted, yes, I can see that I wasn’t thinking of my thousands of screaming fans, and yes, I know you live for my beautiful, beautiful words. I didn’t appreciate the hate mail. Unfortunately, and this may come as a shock to you, I also have a real life where I go outside and do things and talk to people. Sometimes.

But never fear, compadres, I’m loading up the fun gun, and there is a brand new post coming your way. *Cringing in hindsight*

Prepare for some sarcasm mixed with maybe a few little chocolate-covered raisins of advice, because this morning I’m going to share a little of my writing with all of my beautiful readers. I’m going to talk about my writing trademarks, so you at home can identify a genuine Martha Bess piece of writing. You never know, you might have one just lying around in your attic or in that ugly china cabinet you inherited. If so, please can you return them to me, and not auction them off on ‘Bargain Hunt’.

This morning, I was thinking about writing a post about Writer’s Clichés, but then I could only think of one – writing a list of Writer’s Clichés (so meta).

So, here we go, my writer’s quirks that needle their way into pretty much everything I write, PLUS EXAMPLES FROM REAL THINGS I HAVE WRITTEN YAY.

1. Constant requests for clarification – Basically, when I write dialogue, I create a space where no one understands what anyone else is saying, and pretty much every other line is ‘What?’. Maybe it’s echoey. Top Tip: If you’re stuck for a line, just stick a ‘What?’ in there. It really shows that you’re super naturalistic and that you really understand the human psyche.

Example:

A: A family affair is it?

B: What?

Oh my gosh, it’s so totally natural, it’s like I’m emulating natural speech or something, because people don’t always hear what people say to them the first time round. It’s like #nofilter but with writing.

2. Swearing – People swear all the time. I love the sound that swear words make on stage – it’s just lovely. It makes for some really intense drama. Like Hollyoaks.

Example:

B: I am sad. And who the fuck are you to tell me I’m not?

A: Expletives this early on’s a bit hasty isn’t it?

B: Well, I want to set a good impression. Don’t tell me-

A and B: It’s unnecessary. It shows immaturity.

A: But a good ‘fuck’ here and there doesn’t go amiss.

And here we picked up on another couple of my trademarks: Chorus moments (love to channel a bit of Sophocles), Interruptions (that rhythm is so organic), puns (eh, sue me) and having the characters interrogate the form (stick that in your pipe and smoke it).